White Lies

"Sometimes you gotta pretend you were okay. Because if you don't, you won't be alive today."

We are all hiding. Tell me, who wants to show how grieved they were, how sad their soul is? It's one's pride to stand tall on their feet. Tho not everyone could prevent suicidal, still, one must learn how to control this misery. I hide a lot. I ran from the reality that there are things or people out there that can save me, break me free from my dark prison.

   "You could just accept everything and move on."
   "If accepting is easy then I won't hurt this much to move on would I?"

Sometimes I don't get it. Why is it so hard to let go when I knew that my wait is for nothing in return? I had to force a smile so that no one notices. I had to play the bright character just to hide how fading myself is. Truth is, it sucks. It's sad being like this. And I sympathized myself...

"But that's how it was. Because I have the tendency to love what breaks me..."

And it kills me every time... I admit, there are moments where I think of nothing but suicide. And by hurting myself physically to forget how painful it was emotionally. I am, mentally insane. Mentally gone wrong. We all should love ourselves more, shouldn't we?

"Then again, maybe this is how I love myself..."